In the 1950's, wives stayed home with the kids while husbands went
off to work. Aside from taking out the trash and mowing the lawn,
most men concentrated their energy on work responsibilities, and women
managed the home. Today, this is the exception, not the rule. Couples
now struggle with how to balance work and family obligations-while
single parents struggle to just meet all their obligations.
Unfortunately, in most organizations across the country, too many
people are forced into choosing one or another. If a dedicated dad
decides to take Tuesday afternoons off to coach soccer games, he's
branded as uncommitted, and his chances for promotion become slim.
Whereas a women who wants to climb the corporate ladder, and chooses
work over family is labeled a poor mother.
Fortunately, companies are beginning to see that the ideal worker
has both a family and a career-and is not willing to sacrifice either.
If your organization hasn't instituted on-site day care, or paid care
giver days off, then you may appreciate the following information
on how you can better balance your work and family.
Too many people
these days think of themselves last. While this may be virtuous, it
is not good for your personal well-being. If you often feel drained
by the end of the day, read the following tips to learn how to give
yourself a boost.
Vary Your Routine- Some
of us seem to think that we have to stick with a project until it
is complete. Take a break from a time consuming project and do something
for yourself, like having lunch with your spouse. Mixing in a little
fun and enjoyment into a consuming project will actually help you
focus your concentration on the task.
Brighten
Your Surroundings- Sit down
and make a list of things that make you smile. Whether it is a funny
e-mail, a plant, a photo, a card you received from someone special
or a favorite color. Surround yourself with them. Make it a part of
your day.
Take
A Look at Your Lifestyle-
Stay focused on positive aspects of your life, and on what is truly
important to you. Your mental attitude is just as important to your
health as is diet and exercise.
Take
A Time-Out-
Take some time out for yourself-play tennis, read a book, or go shopping.
The important thing is to set aside some time each week to do what
you want-you'll feel better for it and that positive attitude will
benefit your spouse and children.
Some
families run like well-oiled machines-everyone has a schedule and
sticks to it. While others try to just get through each day-for them,
picking up their little ones from daycare on-time is a major accomplishment!
Hopefully, you can find a happy medium using some of the following
tips.
Share
Responsibility-
Create a task jar for household chores:
each Saturday morning everyone picks two tasks to complete that day.
Assign daily tasks, like setting or clearing the table and loading
the dishwasher, on a weekly basis to prevent fighting over who does
what and when.
Take turns doing common household chores like laundry or grocery shopping;
or determine tasks for which you and your spouse will take responsibility.
Set up a carpool to get your kids to school or to after-school activities.
If you can rotate the duty that's great if not, offer to baby-sit
for everyone in the carpool one Friday each month in return for their
help. If you are doing the driving ask for a similar favor in return.
Plan
Your Time-
Use a large wall calendar to jot down all
of your family's activities occurring during the month so everyone
can easily see what's scheduled. If you have important events at work,
include those too!
Schedule fun activities on your calendar too! Plan a family game,
a movie night, or make your own "ice cream sundae" night. It'll give
everyone in the family something to anticipate.
Make a "to do" list of everything that needs to be accomplished during
the week or month. This will help you assign responsibility to everyone
in your family, and help relieve the stress caused from worrying how
to get everything done.
Listen
to Your Children-
Listening is just as important as setting rules. By listening to your
children, you may realize problems or issues they are facing that
you may not have known. Use any opportunity to talk to your kids-whether
driving in the car, cooking dinner, or doing the dishes.
Eat
Dinner Together-
Strong family bonds are made around the dinner table where everyone
has the opportunity to share information.
Spend
More Time not Money-
The next time you feel guilty about not being able to do something
with your children turn your guilt into action. Plan to spend time
with them on a future date.
Take
Your Family With You-
If your children are older, take each of them on a business trip once
a year. This is quality time, spent one-on-one, where you'll get to
know each other a little better. If your kids are younger, turn the
time into a mini-vacation (if your spouse can take time off too!).
Keep
Work at Work-
Although it may be a difficult request, try not to discuss work-related
issues at home. Before leaving the office at night, make a "to do"
list for the next day. Putting your task on paper prevents you from
worrying about what you have to do the next day.
Enjoy
What You Do-
Not only is it important for you to enjoy and take pride in your work,
it is just as important for your children. Your children's behavior,
in many ways, is a reflection of your own. If you bring your work
home with you, it is sure to be noticed by your children. And if you
don't like what you do, they are sure to understand and be affected
by your attitude and behavior.
Reward
Yourself-
If you often have to work late, keep track of the extra hours you
spend, and ask your boss if you can take compensatory time off for
your overtime. Then, the next time your son or daughter has a function,
you can attend without feeling guilty.
Build
A Flexible Schedule-
Offer to take on additional tasks or responsibilities if you can do
some work from home in return. Or, find out if you can work a four-day
workweek instead of five. Or ask your boss for flextime. More and
more companies are allowing employees to create work schedules that
complement their lifestyles.
Every
day you make choices which affect you, your work, and your family
life. Your goal is to make decisions which balance each other out.
If you always choose work, your family will suffer, and if you always
choose your family, you will be stagnant in your career. And, worst
of all, if you don't make any time for yourself, everything will suffer
because you become too stressed or burned out. So keep that in mind
as you make decisions and try to even things out between you, your
work, and your family.
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